cheesecake bars
I have an emotional attachment to certain dishes. Not in a creepy way, but in a sense that a flood of memories come back each time I eat these foods.

Like tortilla chips and ketchup, the latter in lieu of salsa. Weird? Perhaps. But it's something I've grown up with -- it evokes memories of sitting on the back porch in the hot Texas heat, the country music on the radio and the splash of water a backdrop to the make believe world my brother and I were shrouded it. It was different all the time -- sometimes it was store, other times it was house, and occasionally it was even Spider Man; he was Spidey, I was MJ.

cheesecake bars

Cheesecake is another one of those foods. On the Mother's Day when I was five, my mother made cheesecake. Before eating it, we went for a family bike ride in a nearby neighborhood. While pedaling along on the road, I was suddenly knocked off my bicycle by a pitbull. The dog worked its way from my upper arm to my neck, while my mother clung to my nearly two year old brother and my father tried to loosen the dog's grasp on me. I remember every detail of that day, down to my shirt, my favorite. It was white, with five multi-colored chicks (that is, baby chickens) across the front. (Thankfully, except for some bites and bruises, I was fine for the most part.) Now, each time I eat cheesecake, it's a juxtaposition of sweet and slightly bitter, remembering that day.

So far, this summer has been a myriad of lovely things -- vacations, lots of good books, stripes and coral toes, and some not-so-lovely heat. I don't mean to complain, but I don't think I've ever experienced anything this brutal. The heat index has been hovering around 110 degrees Fahrenheit for the past three weeks and it doesn't look like there will be a reprieve anytime soon. Iced beverages are always close at hand -- my choice of late has been, of course, lime infused ice water -- and the thought of eating warm dessert isn't exactly appealing.

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I had a craving for cheesecake the other day; partly nostalgia induced, partly because it sounded delicious. While riffling through the binder that is home to miscellaneous recipes my mother has collected over the years, each piece of paper splattered with food stains, a sign of a well loved dish, I stumbled across a newspaper clipping. A recipe for cheesecake bars, it was the very same one my mother used to make all those years ago.

The butter and cream cheese went from the refrigerator to a plate outside in the sun to soften (who needs a microwave anyway?). The Kitchen Aid churned the ingredients together -- I tested the filling a bit more than necessary...ahem -- and everything went in the oven. As the aroma wafted throughout the house, I was reminded again of my childhood.

These cheesecake bars are incredible. My favorite way to eat them is with fresh sliced strawberries, but they would be delicious with anything. They're delicious for breakfast, too -- not that I would know anything about that.

Any favorite nostalgia-inducing recipes? Do tell!

cheesecake bars2


cheesecake bars
(recipe for 8x8 pan; can be doubled and baked in a 9x13 pan)

ingredients
-- 5 tablespoons butter, softened
-- 1/3 cup brown sugar
-- 1 cup flour
-- 1/2 cup nuts, finely chopped
-- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
-- 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
-- 1 egg
-- 2 tablespoons milk
-- 1 tablespoon lemon juice
-- 1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

make
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream butter and brown sugar; add flour and nuts and mix. Set aside one cup of mixture for topping. Press remainder in bottom of an 8-inch square baking pan and bake 12 to 15 minutes. In a bowl, blend granulated sugar and cream cheese until smooth. Add egg, milk, lemon juice, and vanilla. Beat well. Spread over bottom crust and sprinkle with the reserved topping. Return to oven and bake for 25 minutes. Let cool, then chill and serve. 

cheesecake bars4

-carlotta

beauty.
Beauty. It's a word that's plastered all over. But while there's nothing wrong with being beautiful, the fashion industry, magazines, and newspapers all contort and give a skewed perception of it. Instead of natural and healthy it's now scarily skinny, heavily made up, and scantily clad. "Skinnier is better, lose weight now, how to transform yourself into the beauty you've always want to be," the press yells. Influenced by the media and peer pressure, it places so much pressure on teenage girls. With airbrushed, artificial models on the covers of magazines, it's hard not to become self conscious. Feeling worthless, ugly, and fat, so many are pushed into depression and eating disorders, disorders which confine and trap the soul.

I'm not going to lie -- I love makeup. I think it's wonderful that there are tools available to enhance natural beauty and make one prettier. Heck, I have blonde eyelashes -- mascara is my best friend. But at the same time, I loathe it.
When my face is void of any kind of product, it looks odd, unnatural even, so used am I to the made up version of myself. I feel ugly and insecure, and so I apply makeup to my skin day after day. But that's not the real me. The real me is hidden under a layer of falsity and deception that makes me seem far more beautiful than I really am.
I'm slowly working on gaining the confidence to go free of artificial cover ups. Bit by bit, I'm stepping closer to my goal of being able to leave the house completely bare faced without caring what anyone thinks of me.

Is this a superficial topic? Maybe. Because yes, I know that it's what's within that really matters, but as girls, we crave the feeling of being pretty and confident, and no matter how we try to get away from it, deep down, that longing is always there.

So I've been praying. Praying to the Lord to help me let go of all the artificial things and focus instead what is truly beautiful. It's hard, but I have trust that He will help me through this stage. But thanks be to God that He sent His Son to die on the cross for all our transgressions, including this feeling of insecurity. He's already taken care of it because He loves us, and for that, I don't know how to thank Him.

in black and white

Happy Thursday, friends.

-carlotta

p.s. the giveaway winner is katie. congratulations! please email me :) (note: if winner doesn't respond within forty eight hours, a new winner will be chosen)
there's nothing half so pleasant as coming home again.
(quote: margaret elizabeth sangster)

"When you get married," Lilly asked, "can MeMe and I be your flower girls?" I smiled and promised them they could when the time came. Satisfied, she flashed a grin and skipped off, leaving me sitting in the dining room, happy to be with them again.

she's cute.

My room is in shambles (why must I make unpacking such a messy affair?), my hair is thrown in a loose bun, my to do list is a mile long, but I'm home and oh so glad. I missed my family -- and after being separated much more than normal this summer, there's nothing quite so sweet as the joyous screams my siblings emitted when I pulled into the driveway. As someone who spends a greater part of each day with them, being away from my family is an odd feeling. But sometimes, it's still good to take a break and spend some time away; it makes reuniting that much more mellifluous.

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DSC_1420-1

My father and I traveled to Illinois with my youth group for a conference. It was a cool eighty degrees nearly the entire time -- a welcome change from the sweltering triple digit temperatures we've been having in Oklahoma. The conference, Higher Things, was wonderful. I learned so much more about my faith and my friend/roommate/sister/partner-in-crime, Reagan, and I met so many amazing people. As I so often do at conventions and camps, I opted to leave my camera in our room and made mental images instead. (Anyone else struggle with the decision to just enjoy the moment or photograph the memories instead?)

reagan
group shot

Along the drive, which was about ten hours each way, we alternated between fits of uncontrollable laughter -- the best kind -- and site seeing. Among other things, we saw Abraham Lincoln's home in Springfield, Illinois, which was on a beautiful verdant tree lined street. Someday, when I have my own house, I'd like it to be on a road that is studded with tall, strong, leafy trees.

inside lincoln's home
lincoln's street

Road trips are always entertaining, like the stop we made at a gas station in a small town in southern Missouri. A broken down mobile home sagged in the lot next door and a tractor was in the adjourning repair shop. Pulling up next to us, four shirtless men ranging from age fifty to ten, with pants in danger of slipping, tumbled out of their car and into the building. Me? I just had to laugh.

st. louis

Then there was the visit to my home of three years, St. Louis. It was the first time I'd been back in two years and I was overjoyed. I miss it. It was the place where I spent a large part of my childhood, the place I made best friends, the place that will always be special to me.

st. louis
st. louis
st. louis

While we were away, the rest of the family surprised us by renovated the kitchen. A fresh coat of paint, new knobs from Anthropologie (where else?), open shelving, and reorganization -- I fell in love when I walked in.

our kitchen


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I've decided that Sunday afternoons in the summer are one of my very favorite things. Perfectly lazy and relaxed, with time for doing quiet, satisfying things, like painting my toes and photographing (and eating) food.

tomatoes and basil
lime infused water
lime infused water is like a slice of heaven. how have I never discovered this before? I may never be dehydrated again.
fresh basil
homegrown tomatoes2
homegrown tomatoes

Nothing store bought can beat the taste of homegrown tomatoes and basil, sprinkled with salt and pepper. Simply divine.

at anthropologie

And then adding Anthropologie to an already perfect afternoon? Swoon. I want everything. Their dishes? To die for. I swear, I'm going to start collecting them -- maybe starting with a farmer's egg crate and some latte bowls.

It's good to be home.
//
Notice anything different? The lovely Olivia kindly offered to redesign my blog and I'm in love (hint: hover over the header ;)). 

Other housekeeping matters: thank you (thank you, thank you!) to the amazing guest posters! Also, the giveaway winner will be announced soon :)

Have a lovely evening, friends.

-carlotta
Time For Tea {a guest post by Libby}
Hello there, I'm Libby, and I can't quite believe I'm blogging here. I'm so excited! Also, I like tea. It's a strange story--I drank coffee first, because it made me feel classy and sophisticated, exactly what I wanted living in this small village. But a few months later, I discovered the joys of a good old breakfast tea, and to me tea is part of my history. My dad's side of the family used to be involved in the tea trade, and my dad spent his childhood in Sri Lanka and Malawi whilst his father traded. With genealogy like that, I can't really escape the tea bags.


And to make time for tea, in a life that can so quickly becoming overwhelming? That is special. The ceremony to making a cup of tea is not complex, but I like to just take time to boil the kettle, stew the tea, stir the milk. And then, when I get to the drinking of the tea? When it's just me, my mind wanders. I sit at the kitchen table and write or doodle. If I'm drinking with my mum--the only other tea drinker here--we will chat about "shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings"... Everything under the sun.


So much can happen over a cup of tea, and it's all pretty easy on the eyes too. Most of my blog posts, in fact, are composed with a cup of tea or coffee in hand too, and I try and apply the whimsical and cheerful ideal of afternoon tea to all aspects of my life. Let's make time for tea every day!


Above, just a snapshot of the tea photos I've shared at my blog. I think we can safely say I'm smitten.
Thanks for reading. Do you drink tea? Thanks, Carlotta, for letting me talk about tea.

xx
Libby



13 & 86 simultaneously.
a picture taker & pretty-thing maker,
also, word weave, & book reader.
dress lover,
tea drinker, {coffee too}
cat snuggler and a blogger.