I get discouraged so frequently it's practically part of my daily routine. There are times where I feel so stuck and unable to accomplish anything and instead of trying to fix the problem, I make it worse by studying someone else's star-studded film reel, polished and perfected and pieced together with wild opportunity after wild opportunity. My quiet list of achievements seems like the bloopers in comparison.

The other night, I had a long chat with my mom about these frustrations. I told her how I want to live a life that's more than just average, but being scared that I wouldn't end up on the right path that would lead me there. She mentioned something that has resonated with me ever since: there's something called the pursuit of happiness. Feeling happy and content aren't things that are just going to drop into your lap with little to no effort. The people that are truly fulfilled are the ones that identify their passions and pursue them relentlessly. Feeling discouraged is just a step of making your dream come true--it can't always be a star-studded film reel. No one ever said it was going to be easy. On the contrary, pursuing something is fraught with difficulty, hardships, and anxiety at every turn. The most important part is not giving up, no matter how discouraged or scared you might get. Sometimes things have to get messier before they can get better.

That conversation put everything back into focus for me. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't still get frustrated or discouraged or want to give up, but I know what my goal is--I just need to concentrate and keep on working. The negative feelings are only part of the pursuit and they will fade in time...and the most comforting thought of all is that there's a plan designed specifically for me by someone far greater and wiser than I.

Please don't ever, ever give up, y'all. Your dreams are so worth pursuing.

much love.

After returning from a trip, there's a certain feeling that settles on your shoulders and wraps itself tightly around your heart, a mixture of beauty and sadness and inexplicable joy. It's bittersweet and tugs at your heartstrings and there's nothing you can do but hang on for the ride. There's a little piece of you that's happy to be back in your room and in your bed, but the majority of you just wishes you could go back and experience everything all over again. So you're caught in the middle of an internal civil war, and the best thing you can do is look at photographs and count down to the next adventure.







I spent this past Monday through Wednesday roadtripping and adventuring with my family and best friends in northwestern Oklahoma. It's not my first time to this jewel of an area, but I fall in love with it a little more each time I come. It's a perfect mishmash of desert, forests sporting the most gorgeous natural springs you've ever seen, and prairie. And it's so quiet. When you live in the city, you forget what true stillness sounds like until the only things filling your ears are gurgling streams, bird calls, and crickets humming softly.

oh hey,  let's play find the snake!

We woke up early each morning and headed to the springs to watch the sunrise...and the brave ones jumped into (shockingly frigid) water. Nothing like some icy water to shoot any grogginess out of you! Later, we waded the creek bed as far as we dared go, letting the waterfalls run over our feet and feeling the cool mud squish between our toes. And at night, we laid flat on our backs and watched the stars on the still-warm pavement (all the while watching for tarantulas, of course. no seriously, we saw at least ten in our stay...). My heart felt so full in those moments I honestly thought it would burst.






It's all over now and I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad. Time goes too fast and I can't even wrap my mind around how perfect some moments are. Adventure is most definitely out there--you just have to find it.



Happy Thursday!

It's quiet as I write this. The clock is tick-tocking past ten as the crickets hum their symphony in the smooth, still night. My sisters are tucked in bed; the sheets I pulled over them earlier are now lightly rising and falling with their sweet little girl breaths. I love watching them sleep. In the glow of the hall light casting a thin puddle of warmth on the floor, there is something so peaceful about watching their tiny bodies rest.

I was tempted to skip the ten on ten project this month, what with the craziness that has made up the past few days, but I'm glad I went through with it. Having a challenge is good for me--it stretches me both creatively and mentally. And as of this afternoon, my family is reunited and it couldn't be sweeter. Tonight we sat in the front yard as the sun set, filling each other in on the past week and laughing, the deep belly kind that leaves you giddy and gasping for breath. This is the present and I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's good to let the past lie and the future do what it may and let now soak in deep.

Take a peek at Rachel's photos and be sure to click around and visit the others!

A cliche phrase is being proved this week...you don't know how much you love someone until they're gone. Well, okay, in my case it's my brother who's at camp for a week, but man, I miss that boy like crazy. He is honestly my best friend and he understands me like none other and now I'm getting all mushy. I was an only child on Monday night--the girls were at sleepovers and J at camp--and it was so strange to be alone with my parents. We are an extremely close-knit family and it's not normal for us to be so split up.




I'm not going to lie--between Jeremiah being gone and having to take the ACT on Saturday (and I thought I had the stress of school behind me...), I will be rather relieved once this week is over. And just because it's kind of nice to indulge in a pity party sometimes, I allowed myself a chocolate pudding pie. This pie is unreal, guys. Chocolate pie has always been my favorite, but when you throw pudding in the mix, woah baby, you've got yourself a winner. I've made this pie several times so far and it has never disappointed. Whether you want to throw a yourself little pity party or just celebrate summer, this pie is perfection no matter the occasion. Treat yourself for me, okay?



chocolate pudding pie
via smitten kitchen

ingredients
- pie crust of your choice (I used half of this recipe), baked and cooled
- 1/4 cup cornstarch
- 1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar, divided
- 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 3 cups whole milk
- 4 ounces (1/4 cup) bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- 1 cup chilled heavy cream
- shaved chocolate for garnishing (optional)

directions
- Whisk together cornstarch, 1/3 cup sugar, cocoa powder, and salt in a heavy saucepan, then gradually whisk in milk. Bring to a boil over medium heat, whisking constantly, then boil, whisking, two minutes (mixture will thicken). Remove from heat and whisk in chocolate and vanilla until smooth.
- Pour filling into cooled shell and chill, its surface covered with wax paper (if you want to prevent a skin from forming), until cold, at least two hours.
- Just before serving, beat cream with remaining two tablespoons sugar until it just holds soft peaks. Spoon onto pie and garnish with bittersweet chocolate shavings.

Enjoy!